Same-sex parents are refusing traditional names and prefer hybrid labels such as 'mather' or 'maddie'

  • Same-sex couples are shunning traditional parent names like mother and father 
  • They are opting instead for fusions of the different titles such as 'mather' 
  • These names are hoped to try and help define their relationship to their children   

Gay and lesbian parents are calling themselves 'mather' as they try to define their relationship to their children.

A study found that the fusion of 'mother' and 'father' was one of the ways that gay people are expressing their identity as parents.

Others are using 'maddie', a mixture of mummy and daddy, and creating nicknames for each other as a way to sidestep traditional gendered names.

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Gay and lesbian parents are calling themselves 'mather' as they try to define their relationship to their children. A study found that the fusion of 'mother' and 'father' was one of the ways that gay people are expressing their identity as parents (stock image)

Gay and lesbian parents are calling themselves 'mather' as they try to define their relationship to their children. A study found that the fusion of 'mother' and 'father' was one of the ways that gay people are expressing their identity as parents (stock image)

The study said due to changing cultural norms gay people now have more confidence to express themselves.

Others did not want to be 'assimilated into this heterosexual, patriarchal society', the researchers said.

A study carried out by Clark University in Massachusetts found that that out of 80 participants, 20 lesbian couples and 20 gay couples, all of them chose a different name for mother and father.

A quarter of them opted for some kind of 'undoing gender', or taking traditional names and making them less binary by merging them.

'Mather' was a popular mixture of mother and father while others chose nicknames like 'Muzzie'.

A gay woman called Amanda said that she used variations of her name like Manzo, Manzers, Man and Sissy Man.

The New York Times reported on the study, though it is currently under peer review and has not been published.

Lead researcher Abbie Goldberg said that after the recognition of same sex marriage there was 'more willingness to push some of those boundaries' among gay couples.

But she admitted that explaining the new names to children could be a 'challenge'.

She said: 'It requires a lot of explanation and clarification, maybe even pushback from schools in certain geographical contexts, less gay-affirming areas of the country, like: 'What do you mean you go by 'Maddie?'

'Nobody is going to know what that means. How do we explain that to other children?'

The study, From Clarke University in the US, is currently under peer review and has not been published. it found that 'Mather' was a popular mixture of mother and father while others chose nicknames like 'Muzzie' for same-sex couples

The study, From Clarke University in the US, is currently under peer review and has not been published. it found that 'Mather' was a popular mixture of mother and father while others chose nicknames like 'Muzzie' for same-sex couples

Ellen Kahn, the director of the Children, Youth & Families Program at the Human Rights Campaign, said there was 'a political component' for some gay people.

She said that they simply 'don't want to seem like we're emulating or mimicking straight people'.

Miss Khan said: 'For queer parents who don't think of themselves as gender conforming, 'mommy' and 'daddy' may be a little discordant with the way they think about themselves'.

Among those who sounded a note of caution was Dr David Schwartz, a psychoanalyst and psychologist who has spent his career studying gender and sexuality.

He said that gay people are already stepped in a heterosexual world and, apart from that, you 'don't want to do anything to devalue your family'. 

WHAT ARE THE COUNTRIES WHERE HOMOSEXUALITY IS ILLEGAL? 

Algeria

Angola

Botswana

Burundi

Cameroon

Comoros

Egypt 

Eritrea 

Ethiopia 

Gambia 

Ghana 

Guinea 

Kenya 

Liberia 

Libya 

Malawi 

Mauritania

Mauritius

Morocco

Namibia

Nigeria

Senegal

Sierra Leone 

Somalia

South Sudan 

Sudan 

Swaziland

Tanzania

Togo 

Tunisia

Uganda

Zambia

Zimbabwe

Afghanista 

Bangladesh

Bhutan

Brunei

India

Iran

Iraq

Kuwait

Lebanon

Malaysia 

Maldives 

Myanmar 

Oman

Pakistan

Palestine/Gaza Strip

Qatar

Saudi Arabia  

Singapore 

Sri Lanka 

Syria

Turkmenistan 

United Arab Emirates 

Uzbekistan 

Yemen

Antigua & Barbuda

Barbados 

Dominica

Grenada

Guyana

Jamaica

St Kitts & Nevis 

St Lucia

St Vincent * the Grenadines

Cook Islands

Indonesia 

Kirbati

Papua New Guinea 

Samoa

Solomon Islands 

Tonga

Tuvalu

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